Still Waiting

Friday, January 04, 2008

hmmm... schools in spore have reopened.. but how come no schools contact me for relief teaching jobs? so sad loh... i think asking ms sim is not a gd choice. lol she must have forgotten.='( rly wishhhh i can go back to prss to teach. in this way i can look aft my cousins. one of them currently taking O's this yr, one is not a totally good kid in school. rly wish i can look after them. sighs~. i'm gonna look at the classified later.

sometimes being a friend feels like you're in a situation of erm.. doubt, sth like when u're crushing on someone n u dunno if the person will return ur love.similarly, being a friend is quite hard esp if u care abt the people u love, cos u dunno if they will actually love u back or entertain u. besides when they're moody its hard to tell if u offended them in any way. bf is a little different.its super obvious when he/she is mad at u and if u have sth unhappy, u dun bottle them up but vent it out by screaming at each other, sorting things out in this fastest possible way.

a good friend has to have many requirements and it's all defined differently by different people. for eg, a person who thinks im a good friend to be with might not be approved o by another person. and sometimes its so hard to be a good friend to many people with different definitions, topped off with various factors, eg inability to control some of our emotions and being women, we sometimes look at things in a narrow way and cant take a step back to look at the whole picture. hmmm. for so many years, i still cannot grasp the formula to being a good friend to everyone. maybe this is the reason why u rank ur friends from time to time. what exactly is the formula?
be natural and be yourself, dun care abt other ppl?
be cautious to everyone's feelings?
keep quiet and just pray for everything to get better?
voice out ur thoughts loudly?
compromise?(extents may vary)

so confusing. maybe the best way is to make the best decision when the situation calls for it. but its so difficult to react to the situation at times, because god didnt plan ur life n ur every move, but he gives you choices.. n to make these choices you have to think in everyone's shoes(if u wanna be a good friend) and its so... =S,so difficult to put everyone before you i guess. in addition its always so hard to fanthom what the others are thinking as well. hmmm....can anyone teach me the way?

hoho tho i dunno the way to being a good friend, but i know the way to being faithful. to put it simply, don't give urself any chances. you may dream abt it at times(but excessive dreaming is bad for health!) but make sure you dun accept or create any chances in reality. dun deny the existence of the one you love, dun give false hope, steer clear of any distractions and BE uninterested. or the best is, dun even think abt it if you can. its difficult because the brain will screw up itself at times. i screwed up once n i regret it! like 101% totally regret!!! but the only way is to make up for it, we cant change history anyway. and now, i wished i had more money so i can make up for some things. =( inevitably, money is the root of (not only) all evil,(but also everything).. money is the seed of all plants, egg of all animals...... without money u cant do anything at all. zzz.

ok gotta get back to work le~ bye!~

-when are you coming back? ;